He expects my sympathy?

Yesterday I went to counseling. I am beginning to see there were many things I did wrong in our relationship. Not that anything I did caused him to have an affair, but I was an enabler to his immaturity. I always paid all the bills, I always did all the planning from the wedding to our vacations, I made sure things got done around the house, etc. I could go on and on with all the responsibilities I took on. Yes, he made dinner every night, but that was about it. I guess I just got so used to doing everything for myself that I never asked him to take over. I was just always worried that if I left something to him to do, it would never get done.

He called this morning upset that I was filing through a lawyer. He still doesn't want to have to pay half of the lawyer's fees. I gave him the opportunity to go get the paperwork last week, he didn't do it, so I filed with the lawyer. I guess he's having some financial problems with his phone and bank. I told him he should have thought about all the ramifications before he decided to go out and have an affair. It not only affects you emotionally, but also financially. I also told him I am filing under adultery and that I am asking him to pay half of some credit card debt and the remaining medical bills. He's upset because he will have no where to live soon and he's having financial difficulties. I can't believe the nerve. After everything he's done to me he expects me to feel sorry for him? While he's been off gallivanting with his young new love, I've been sitting at home trying to figure out how to pick up the pieces and move on. I've been trying to make plans for a future that is not what I expected it to be. I'm sure his life is going to be turned upside down, but this was his choice, not mine. I was happy living my life as his wife and planning for our future.

Were things perfect in our relationship? No, but who's marriage is perfect? If he was that unhappy why didn't he speak up sooner? Better yet, why did he go through with the marriage? I would much rather have been hurt and out some cash if he cancelled the wedding. I would have been spared the humiliation and pain that he has caused me by having an affair. I love my family and friends, but having to have weekly check ins called to me is embarrassing. I'm not suicidal for crying out loud, I'm just mourning the loss of my marriage.