The wedding album

So, I received the call today that I've been dreading. Our wedding album is ready to be picked up. What the heck am I going to do with that? I guess I'll just add it to the box of other items I'm not ready to deal with. The box is currently sitting in the garage, but I think I'm going to move it into the attic. I was planning on taking my wedding dress to a consignment shop, but I haven't been able to bring myself to do that just yet. Maybe this weekend I will. I had always hoped some day to have a christening gown made from it.

It's amazing how many things in your life can change in the blink of an eye. Two months ago I was the happiest I have ever been in my life. I had just gotten back from a fantastic honeymoon, I was married to the man of my dreams and we were starting the process to have a baby and sell our townhouse to buy a house. Now I realize this was all just a dream, never a reality. I've entered into the realm of a nightmare that will never stop.

I always used to love living by myself. Now I find myself lonely all the time wishing someone would call or stop over to fill the void. Even though I take pills to help me sleep, lately I've been waking up a lot, sometimes from nightmares, sometimes because I think I hear someone in the house and sometimes for no apparent reason at all. I've never been one to be scared in my own house, but lately I am. I miss having someone sleep beside me. He took our dog Diesel and he used to cuddle up next to me. My cat Picasso still does, but it's just not the same.