Some days are better than others

All in all, I'd say my weekend was pretty good. I watched a movie with my neighbor on Friday night. Saturday I went boating with friends and then started watching a movie with my neighbor, but we stopped to go outside to smoke and our other neighbor, who is also getting divorced was leaving and stopped to chat. He said he was going to get something to eat and some drinks at a bar down the street, so we joined him. He's friends with Chris, they play softball together every Tuesday. Apparently Chris has not been telling people the truth about what happened between us. That really pissed me off. He should have to wear a scarlet letter around, so everyone knows he is a lying bastard. Why should he get off so easy? I have to explain to many, many people that we are separated and getting divorced and then the reason. He should have to too. If he is so ashamed by what he did, then he shouldn't have done it in the first place. What did he think he was just going to be able to keep his affair a secret and go on living his life married to me? I wonder how long he would have fucked around behind my back before ending it with her or ending it with me. It makes me sick to think if he weren't acting so suspicious maybe I never would have suspected and found out.

Yesterday was a rough day for me. There was some type of wedding marathon on HGTV, which normally I love to watch. Yesterday I couldn't. Then I tried watching Hope Floats, but I was already crying and that movie always makes me cry, so I turned it off and went to bed. I keep wondering when this new reality for me is going to set it. I still have a hard time believing it's real. In my dreams we are always back together and everything is great. It really makes it hard to wake up to the truth.

I've decided to get back to my Save-A-Pet scrapbook and back to walking the dogs on the weekends. I think that will help me pass time and remain distracted. I got a few more boxes from the garage unpacked. I really need to get that finished so that I can focus on the other stuff around the house that needs to get done before my parents arrive. They will be pissed if they see how I've let the house go. I just can't get my butt motivated. I just want to sleep and do nothing.